09.11.11

 September 11th became a sweeter day for me when the boy I crushed on from the moment we met asked to know me "better than friends". I was speechless then as I've been speechless many times over by his sincerity, boldness, passion and love for me. 

 He leads me confidently, always a few steps ahead, paving the way, trusting I will follow him...

and faithfully, joyfully, purposefully I do.

 I don't always know his thoughts. I don't always understand his reason. But I trust his heart, and I believe in the One he follows, I know the Love he gives is real; will last...

 He's so much funnier than me! I only wish I could have some killer come-backs 'cause it's really not fair how hilarious he can be... only downside is he doesn't always pick the best times to be funny... except this one:

Who needs a cork screw?

 From start to finish, the whole evening was planned... grilled Italian chicken salad, grainy bread with dipping sauces, and of course, the wine!

 My only touch was a glorious apple crumb pie to remember the sweet moments from our wedding day one year ago.

And the flavor of love we've now shared four years today.

What an incredible journey it has been! Many, many challenges, but so much more love than we ever dreamed of; so much promise for the days ahead...

 Happy Anniversary my husband! I love you so much more than I can say...

Thank you for loving me!

summer time

it's been a while since my words fell into memories to mark out our first year... and soon this year will fall right into the next and we will no longer be "newlyweds" but still best friends on a journey far greater than we ever imagined and so much bigger than we dreamed. how can i not record these precious and sadly forgettable moments? i do not want them to pass by unaccounted for.

summer has flown by like it always does and curtis and i are both anticipating him starting school this coming week with a mixture of anxiety and excitement. a whole new chapter is beginning! and it really is amazing that we are even here, at the start of such a great adventure...

the heat index soared to 115 degrees this year and our afternoons were barely tolerable outside of our air-conditioned apartment. we passed the time with late night runs (waiting until 11pm for the temperature to drop below 90), evening swims after working out at the Y, attending weddings and showers and get-togethers with our closest friends, watching their lives change just like ours, and adding a new member to our own little family: a mini beagle puppy named scooter! he is my little buddy, sleeping right now at my feet as i type.

we shared and witnessed truly incredible moments with family: the birth of our sweet nephew clay, angela's high school graduation, my mom's 50th birthday celebration, elle & matthew moving to d.c., sam & hayley buying their 1st house, eli turning 17, and curtis' mom flying all the way from oregon to visit with us for a week! what wonderful times we've had together! and it's really the small and seemingly insignificant hours or minutes spent sharing stories, laughter & tears, turning pages, starting over or starting something new that make lasting impressions and alter the course of our hearts intentions to be strengthened, renewed, challenged, and encouraged to open wider, seek deeper, and embrace so much more...

everyday we realize how abundantly blessed we are and how deeply humbling it is to live out our dreams. it compels us to give and share and touch others lives as we have been touched. LORD make our hearts willing to give it all away and receive all that you are and all that you have, for YOU alone are worthy of all we are, all we have, and all we ever will be. thank you for this promise, this wonder, this love!

being home

this week we moved across the hall and down the stairs from our lofted-celine, one bedroom apartment to a more spacious 2-bed, 2-bath, still quite cozy rendition. i must say that after being married 9 months, "making house" is much simpler than it was on our first day together back in September. we have a history now, short as it may be, that allows the walls to speak and draw one into our story... the places we've been, the people we love, our favorite moments together. we feel we've come far and grown much closer than we ever expected. (although neither of us had accurate expectations to begin with). trust, our most welcomed guest, has now nestled in and made himself fond of tempting our palettes to try each other's tastes, and bidding our opinions to take in each other's views. his imploring exercises have become more natural, even enjoyable to us as we each participate in the giving and receiving of him, trust i mean. i don't have nearly as many melt-downs as i used to, and curtis has only exceeded his strong gift of accountability and still allow me to see and feel his struggles, frustration and doubts. he's learned to listen to more than my words and speak straight to my heart... although his teasing will never stop, i feel certain. making me squirm is his favorite game. back to moving... we were able to transfer everything down and over in just a few hours, but the process of piecing it all together took a few days. mostly things just fell into place as if they were claiming possession of their new home as much as we were!

when i think of home i still picture the brick and stone house on a sloping hillside, the creek and woods, the warmth of the fire on winter mornings, and the cool of the screened porch on summer nights, watching fireflies sparkle in the field below. i grew up in a place most have only dreamed about. and to be honest, it wasn't easy for me to leave. i've had to question so much of myself outside of my familiar background and in front of a strange audience. finally questioning what it is i was truly missing, and that lead me back to me! home is not a place or anything the senses can agree on. not peace or security, laughter or memories, love or even family. and it is surely not paint on the walls, a backyard and a barbecue grill (although i want those things quite badly). even the fragrance of a warm meal, the view from the front porch and my husband's arms around me simply calls me to something more certain, more real and sustaining than food, beauty or pleasure. it must be something more...

home is an attitude of the heart. it's choosing to be present and know oneself. it's also choosing to make oneself known. simple acts of kindness, playful words, vulnerable tears, telling secrets and making dreams come true. it's a warm, welcoming, joyous greeting every time someone knocks on the door. it's also acknowledging a world of possibilities outside of oneself, however big or small, plausible, practical or even just for fun. because home does not keep one trapped inside. it's calling up our friends to make salsa and margaritas. extending hospitality to strangers. it's taking time out of chores or studying to sit on the couch and remember we're still in the same room and how thankful we are that we're in love and will always be... home is in our hearts. and our hearts are where we truly live.

i'm so happy to be home.

Beautiful Barcelona

the sun was warm as we walked the streets of a new city, so completely different from our last two ventures on this European voyage. the smell of the Mediterranean Sea breeze & flavorful foods we were dying to taste, the sounds of Spanish music, laughter, entertainers, & children at play... the bright colors of flowers & laundry hanging from balconies & window sills... the intricate tiles & sculptures decorating the sides of buildings and fountains in the squares, and the palm & sycamore trees that lined the sidewalks pointing us toward the beach... ah, the sand between our toes! we eagerly changed clothes and joined the locals for a sun bath, dozing off to the sound of waves breaking gently against the shore. it was heavenly! we didn't hesitate to follow custom in this city - enjoying afternoon siestas, late night tapas, & even later night-life with music, dancing and, yes, a few drinks! the people & culture were fantastic. casual conversations on the subway and in restaurants, admiring the same beauty, palates, & desire for adventure. no one dressed or looked even remotely alike - each person easily casting their own unique style into an eclectic and extremely diverse group they call Catalan. and everyone seemed so young at heart! men & women in their sixties out on the town at midnight enjoying tapas and bright conversation... even older-looking Catalonians playing on the beach and going for a cool swim. we loved their loss for time, their love of beauty, their taste and choice of lifestyle so unlike our own...

rich landscapes & simple lifestyles

i love nuts!

fabulous night on the town

the renown Park Guell in honor of the late Gaudi

yet, it was not just indulgences and care-free attitudes that captured our hearts. the city also glories in its' historic, artistic and spiritual foundations. we soon began to notice the styles of architecture and learned of the inspirations derived from the late and aspired artist Gaudi, whose many works embellish the city at large and speak of a deeper and greater Love. after visiting the church he so grandly envisioned and set into motion, The Sagrada Familia, we were lavished with wonder at the message of salvation told in such profound and exquisite works of art, it brought tears to my eyes. it was the most magnificent structure we have ever seen and it is not even half-way finished. in fact, the church is not expected to reach completion within our lifetime! so much passion and purpose in every carved stone, painted tile, and piece of stained glass, all fitted together in a masterful display of worship to our Maker! overall, our time in Spain was quite refreshing, humbling and inspiring to say the least. and we hope these stories, images and influences will continue to move us out of our over-demanding, time-concious little world and into a spacious place of enjoying the inner luxuries of peace, gratitude and generosity God has given us each and every day. thank you, Barcelona for reminding us of our true home and divine calling as children of the King. life is so much more than what it seems...

Oh, Switzerland!

it was intoxicating. breathing deeply of the cleanest, purest, most welcoming air i have ever let fill my lungs. we arrived after dark, and the stars alone told us we were in mountain country. dazzling! the sky seemed closer; it had to be. somehow luring us in & holding us captive to a majesty we could only outline on the horizon: enormous walls of black against the deep blue. no moon. we walked the wide & spotless streets of Interlaken almost ready to camp outside 'til the sun came up and pulled back night's curtain on these massive peaks we were so anxious to finally see. we were giddy, we could hardly wait for morning to come! alas, we reached our hostel, The Backpackers Villa, and were welcomed with a personal note and warm stack of sheets & towels. although our minds threatened to keep us awake, our aching bodies won us over to sleep...

...i was first to awaken just before dawn. (of course, the sun takes a bit longer to rise above the heady skyline). and the view i saw changed me in an instant. i cannot say that has ever happened to me before. my eyes fixated on the glory surrounding me & my entire being filled with tranquility, joy, newness, freedom. my perspectives altered. my ideals shifted. it was so subtle, yet so sincere. i had tears in my eyes & a cavern in my heart. i wanted to run up into them. i wanted to wrap my arms around them. i wanted to be apart of them, to be held by them, to call them home. those mountains on that beautiful morning!

we rented scooters later that day to go "further up and further in". curtis drove fast against the whipping mountain winds, with me warm on his back, clinging tightly. more quaint towns than i thought possible, more jaw-dropping landscapes than i could ever dream!

                            

still, we wanted to go higher. so we paid our ticket to the top: a gondola ride to the second highest peak on the continent! the road at the bottom of the next pic is the same rode we were on in the previous pic. we were only a fraction of the way there! (i was kind of scared).

getting closer...  maybe half-way there!

finally, the peak of Shilthorn in view!

the view from the top took our breath away, and the breath we did take was so fresh and clean, it could have had healing powers! the green trees and fields nowhere to be seen. our little town swallowed up by peak after peak of sky-scraping rock faces iced in a thick layer sparkling snow. nearly indescribable. truly unforgettable.

these mountains compare to no others. they are guardians, treasure keepers, sanctuaries, proclaiming such strength and mystery, we knew God had given us an incredible glimpse of himself: mighty, awesome, powerful, able, unchanging and true. his love really does reach the heavens; his faithfulness, to the skies.

all that is left to say here is please go! you will not be disappointed, no matter the cost. let yourself be moved to tears and filled with wonder again! we can hardly wait to return...