Thursday, April 14, 2016

Hello Spring!

Oh dear me, three months since I've written?
Truly it has flown by and I find myself in so very different a season.
Hello Spring!

Nollie's 2nd birthday is right around the corner 
and sweet Knox at four months old is just 
barely becoming a heavy, one-armed hip baby.
Thank goodness for that, my poor aching back.

I survive on their regular nap schedules and early bedtimes.
And although I've been without caffeine for over 6 weeks 
I've now committed to dairy free for the sake of my laundry
and Knox's worsening reflux lately.

All very much worth it and leaving me guiltless 
from those (well earned) latte and ice cream runs that turned into 
projectile vomiting and acidic spit-up stains on all our clothes.

At least he is a happy spitter!
The happiest baby indeed.
How could I love you more my boy
You simply enthrall me!

I started working again.
Only a few shifts a month and 
surprisingly it has been good for my soul.
How much better a nurse I am now being a mother.
Six years this June and I don't regret my choice
(God's choice) for one second!

How often I am reminded that He knows what He's doing!
Oh trust Him.

I flew home a couple weeks ago
by myself with both babes.
 And all I want to re-hash on traveling like that 
is that I hope I forget how crazy hard it was 
cause I'm most likely going to do it again. 
Lord, help me.

But it was SUCH a blessing being home!
I hadn't been there in almost a year and it was 
Knox's first time meeting all my siblings, 
their sweet sweet children, my dear grandparents, 
and a few of my many aunts, uncles and cousins.

And as sweet as that was, it was even more precious
to watch Nollie get to KNOW them and form bonds that
I pray she will carry with her always.
Always knowing that she is loved 
by her family far away.

How fun it will be to watch these little cousins grow up together!
She being the youngest of the first four girls 
and Knox being the youngest of the first four boys.
And three more babies on the way!
We can hardly wait to meet you!

My mom and dad spoil me when I'm home 
and find it hard to share me with the rest of the fam.
But it's never going to be easy or fair and 
no longer quite as restful with babies in the mix
and that's okay.

My heart is to reconnect
to savor the face-to-face
and physically embrace each person
that I've missed so long between these visits.
I promise I love each of you and I think about you
every. single. day.

But this is my home.
These are my day-to-days.
And my love grows more and more for
this misty, evergreen land and yes,
even the rain.

Nollie certainly knows and loves her family here
talking and asking about each one daily.
She gave squeals of delight 
when we walked over to Nana and Papa's unannounced this afternoon
just to say hi and clutter up their living room with all the stashed toys
she just had to bring out one by one until the room was full.

She has them wrapped around her finger tight!
And my are we falling head over heels for her every day.
The things she says!
New today: "Mmm, de-leesh-ee!" (delicious) 
And our favorite lately: "Hold you, Mama, hold you, Dada"

Yeah, girl, your Mama and Daddy are never letting you go!

Our joy is so tangible in this season. 
I can't stand it that I won't always be able to carry her 
with arms and legs wrapped around me, 
 head resting on my shoulder, 
and her hand patting my back
as if I'm the one in need of comforting!
Yes, darling, I am!

And how can I begin to fathom 
that my soft, squishy, wobbly baby love
will be running around in no time?!?

I just won't have it!
Not now.
Not while I can hold them as long as I could possibly ever want to.