alone at night

i don't like to be alone at night. especially at this time. i feel a world away from normalcy, company, activity. the hours toy with my brain and body, making me awkwardly unproductive in thought or action. even when we're together in the dark, awake while the world sleeps, life just doesn't happen like it would if we were buzzing around with all the other awkwardly unproductive people within our view. opportunity seems limited to our television, refrigerator, internet and 24-hour Wal-Mart. we get up from the couch, open the fridge, walk to the computer and back to the couch, around and around, back and forth, all the while dreaming of days when the we will rise with the sun and live in the light it brings... yet in this season, when the stars are out-shined by the parking lot lights outside our window, opportunity is still present and new and waiting to be held. i've learned to cook, crochet, and scrapbook. curtis discovers something new every 5 minutes either from the history channel or global news. i do the laundry, he does the dishes. we make smoothies and take naps around 3am. i'll do yoga at sunrise and he'll get in a good laugh watching best-of-youtube. it's a simple, sometimes lonely, but mostly lovely little life. he'll be home in a couple of hours and i'll make breakfast and we'll go to bed with the blinds and curtains closed. someday or some night, things will change. and i will be as happy then as i am now: alone, warm in my sweats and wool socks, listening to pandora play praises to my Maker who is LORD of the night as well as the day. as the psalmist says, "whenever i awake, i am still with you." with you. light and peace and love, with you.